can abusive person change?

[pumpkin]

I just broke up with my bf. He is 27 and I'm 21. We've been together for more than four years. But he seems to not be able to let me go. Until now, he still flood my inbox with smses and keep calling my hp non-stop.

I decided to break up with him because he has been verbally and physically abusive through the years. He is very controlling towards me and when I cannot fulfill what he wants, he will make me feel so miserable and helpless, like taking my stuff (hp, wallet) away and etc to make me stay at his house and cannot leave when I'm really angry.

I've been hit on my hands, tight, head, lips and the last one is the worst as he punched me on my eye. This doesn't happen often but like once or twice a year when we quarreled.

I decided to give up after he shouted at me repeatedly for no reason in front of his family which make me feel so embarrassed. I said that's it. It has to end.

Everytime after he did something wrong to me, he would beg for forgiveness, again and again, change to be a totally sweet boyfriend, but most of the time it never last long and he will go back to his own habit.

I think I suffer depression now, and due to lots of name calling - stupid, f*cking ugly, slut, I really feel not confident at all. And I really feel alone as I only have him and no friend at all. I lost my friend one by one cause I spent most of my time with him.

But other than that, we were happy couple. He did care for me. And I can feel he love me too. But I always ponder doesn't love really hurt and abuse?

I've decided to cut it off with him, but he hasn't been doing and sleeping well recently and really call me nonstop.I feel very mean of torturing both of us like this and I start to think that maybe there's hope that he will make me feel blissful and cherish me more now like what he promised. After all, he know he is wrong and willing to change. But I'm also just too scared that he's going to be violent again towards me.

He wants another chance from me.

Should I give him? Can he really change?

and for guys here, have you hit your partner before? Sometimes, he always blame me to justify his action, saying like if I don't provoke him, he won't hit me. I'm really speechless.

Chinese New Year is coming and his family invites me to have dinner on new year eve. I really don't know what to do now. He knows my house, my phone number, etc. How can I avoid him?

[Darkstorm]

For him to hit you, that is not normal. Your ex-boyfriend sounds like he needs serious help. That's my view anyway.

I have never hit my ex-girlfriends before.

[sammyboyfor]

Should I give him? Can he really change?


Nope he won't change. His abuse is more than just physical. He's abusing you emotionally too and he's also trying to undermine your self confidence.

In other words, he's a scumbag. It's time for you to move on. If you don't do it now, you'll find it a lot harder when you're married to him and have kids to add to the equation. There's probably a good chance he'd be abusive towards the kids too.

The bottom line is he's not a good boyfriend now and he'll be an even worse father to your children later if you allow that to happen.

Make a clean break now. Be firm. Tell him it's over. There's no turning back. Once he realises there's no chance of reconciliation, he'll move on. If you give him an iota of hope, he'll keep hanging around and making your life difficult.

[DO_I_BJ]

like what uncle sammy says. he's trying to undermine ur confidence. When you don't have confidence. who you rely on? Him. Thats why so many girls always stays with their abusive bfs for so long. They feel cheap and useless and can only depend on that Man. Its also quit an emotional fuckup that makes you lose your reasoning. As hard as it can be. You have to leave him. Unless you want a future of more beatings , shoutings and insults

[Oralcraz]

Hi pumpkin,
I normally do not advise couple to divorce or breakup. Is yr call. If u can take it, then continue. If u cannot take it, then..... . Although quarrel exist btw couples (married or pak tor), getting physically and emotionally abuse is not part of courtship. With due respect, hv to understand his family background and his profile too. I know sometimes men get temperamental and abusive. But at this early stage and so often, not so healthy a relation. Take care!

[jinrenhe]

Nope he won't change. His abuse is more than just physical. He's abusing you emotionally too and he's also trying to undermine your self confidence.

In other words, he's a scumbag. It's time for you to move on. If you don't do it now, you'll find it a lot harder when you're married to him and have kids to add to the equation. There's probably a good chance he'd be abusive towards the kids too.



My exact thoughts too.

He appears to be stereotypical, classical definition of "Scumbag" or "The boyfriend from hell"

Don't have the illusion that your love can change him. He is bad now, and will only get worse if you continue to condone his behaviour .
If he can get physical even when he is only your boyfriend, i can only forsee him getting worse and more intolerable after marriage (if u ever decide to settle down with him)...

My advice is ... this is like a sinking ship, jump off for your own survival.

T.S. , you are still young and have a beautiful future ahead... so why bind yourself to something you obviously know is bad for you.

My 2 cents worth of thoughts

[pewpew]

I decided to break up with him because he has been verbally and physically abusive through the years. He is very controlling towards me and when I cannot fulfill what he wants, he will make me feel so miserable and helpless, like taking my stuff (hp, wallet) away and etc to make me stay at his house and cannot leave when I'm really angry.

I've been hit on my hands, tight, head, lips and the last one is the worst as he punched me on my eye. This doesn't happen often but like once or twice a year when we quarreled.

I think I suffer depression now, and due to lots of name calling - stupid, f*cking ugly, slut, I really feel not confident at all. And I really feel alone as I only have him and no friend at all. I lost my friend one by one cause I spent most of my time with him.


Just with these action, he can wash his butt and get ready to visit Changi Prison.

Seriously, for a guy to start laying a hand on girl (when he is angry?), there will be a 2nd time, 3rd time n forever and will never stop because YOU allowed him to continue beating on YOU (why u never leave him?).

Partially you said he really love u and cares for u?
Even for a hi-bye friend, i also cares for them does that mean i love them?

You are too carried away by the word LOVE, maybe you are too young to really understand what is really love? (10/10 guys i know who love their gf never beat him and never heard of getting beaten yet still love?)

If he really cherish the relationship, tell him to find consultant on anger management, anyway, leave him, unless you wanna continue being a vending machine (for his anger, desire) :mad:

Good luck sis, look around, there are many guys outside that doesn't beat their gf, u can try your luck, even if its 90%, you still have a chance of 10% of getting luck.

[colins]

Can, you can give him another chance. But who will give you the chance you need to live a better life? Answer is, you. If you have one chance in your hand, who will you give it to? You or him?

Supposedly you give him his chance, and the hostility and violence happens again (you know it will), he raises his fist above you in anger and it is about to strike down on your face, you suddenly think about this chance thingy and go on your knees to beg for ONE CHANCE. One chance not to abuse you physically again. Do you think he will care? Or do you think he will choose to satisfy his anger and let the blow come down on your eye?

By then, you cannot choose whether you wanna give him chance. You gave him his chance to abuse you. It is his turn to choose whether or not to give you your chance.

Go see a doctor, get your eye examined and file a police report. Use the report to file a Personal Protection Order against him. If he harasses you, either emotionally or physically, call the police and they will come take him away. At 27, he is a man, not the kid you always treat him as. Not the little poor boy who can't take care of himself. Not the baby who is like you, so lack of self confidence that he needs to use self abuse to release his emotions. See the truth surrounding him, and dun escape that judgement.

Whether he needs help or not, the person who can help him is not you. You are the victim, not the anger management expert. If you think you deserve better treatment from a person who loves you, you gotta love yourself first.

Take care ;)

[HCKing]

can abusive person change?

' a leopard nvr change its spot ' ever heard of this b4?

time to dump the leopard and give other better guys a chance.

u r only 21. hw many years more u want to wait for him to change? youth is one of the most precious thing to girls right?

4 yr information, love = respect. so dont buy all his sweet nonsense abt loving u after hitting u as one will never lay a finger on someone he truly loves/respect. think abt it, would u say a guy loves or respect his mother if happens u see him beat up his mother? or would u rather believe in ：“打是疼骂是爱" ?:rolleyes:

[HCKing]

By then, you cannot choose whether you wanna give him chance. You gave him his chance to abuse you. It is his turn to choose whether or not to give you your chance.

no matter wat type of relationship, be it abusive bf or tigress gf, KC with scheming PRC WL or kana cheated by playboys it always takes 2 hands to clap.

[BlurWolfe]

Hi Ms TS Pumpkin,

I hope you understand some psychology or Newton's Law , esp the cause and effect.
You had missed out some of the points that made your bf threw himself in rages. Think back if any thing happened before during that time. Remembered as he is still young and may be very possessive, thats why the effect happened.

Younger generation maybe feeling insecure but I also will not approved of physical or mental abuses.

For your case, may be good to have heart to heart talk each other and if necessary bring in a close friend to help, that will sort out the difference and improve the communications.

Lastly if everything fail, then your own person is at risk and better get perosonal protective order and he needs a stronger dose of medicine to wake up.

[pumpkin]

Thanks for all the replies. I understand the consequence of staying and was very firm with my decision of leaving until today.

He came again to pass my stuff and we spent another four hours to sort things out. Previously, we've never let anyone know about our problem. We always quarreled quietly and always act normal with people around. But now, I asked some friends about this and all of them asked me to leave too.

I told him the only way he wanted me to give him one last chance is to call my mom and confess all to her and asked her if she allows her daughter to be still with him after what happened, which he really did. Can see that he is serious about turning to be a better person. He realize all his mistakes and admitted that he was actually abusive and seriously want to change. Can see that he is so xin ku too. He was crying and knelt down there for so long. Surprisingly my mom didn't scold him and tried to justify for his action, like perhaps I made him angry and stuff. some people make mistakes, and there's always regret after that. but of course, she doesn't agree that he use violence in resolving problems.

I told him I might give him chance but he should give me some time to cool down as well. I will see how it goes.

4 yr information, love = respect. so dont buy all his sweet nonsense abt loving u after hitting u as one will never lay a finger on someone he truly loves/respect. think abt it, would u say a guy loves or respect his mother if happens u see him beat up his mother? or would u rather believe in ：“打是疼骂是爱" ?:rolleyes:

I understand that sentence very well. Always thought of giving up everytime I feel he disrespects me, but it is always easier said than done. And now, seeing that he is seriously to change for the better for me, I am in dilemma if I have to cling on that hope.

Go see a doctor, get your eye examined and file a police report. Use the report to file a Personal Protection Order against him. If he harasses you, either emotionally or physically, call the police and they will come take him away. At 27, he is a man, not the kid you always treat him as. Not the little poor boy who can't take care of himself. Not the baby who is like you, so lack of self confidence that he needs to use self abuse to release his emotions. See the truth surrounding him, and dun escape that judgement.


my eye is okay now, thank you. I went to see a couple of doctors and did x-ray check-up to make sure nothing is wrong with my eye. Honestly, I've never thought of reporting to police before, as I am afraid things will get more serious than what it is. Second, I'm not really familiar with Singapore's law. Do we have to pay to report to police and if this physical abuse will actually send him to jail?

[sammyboyfor]

I told him the only way he wanted me to give him one last chance is to call my mom and confess all to her and asked her if she allows her daughter to be still with him after what happened, which he really did. Can see that he is serious about turning to be a better person.

That means nothing whatsoever. It's just an act. :rolleyes: You will regret your decision. Mark my words. :mad:

[yitiaolong]

punch your eyes once or two every year....together for 4 years:eek:
if you forgive him....then u will become Panda before 30.

girl...let look far.
if both of you form a family, got kids.
he still punch you and kid. can you take it?
if u want divorce....very very troublesome..take long process and paperworks,
and what about the kid?

lastly, love with your situation will not last long.
Even love without your situation will not last long.:D
Resposibility come in after the love, but seem like your BF no resposibilities at all.

If i was you, i will get a better man

[colins]

my eye is okay now, thank you. I went to see a couple of doctors and did x-ray check-up to make sure nothing is wrong with my eye. Honestly, I've never thought of reporting to police before, as I am afraid things will get more serious than what it is. Second, I'm not really familiar with Singapore's law. Do we have to pay to report to police and if this physical abuse will actually send him to jail?

Now I know why he abuse you. It is you, always believing in making things easy to accept rather than to confront the truth of the situation. It is easier to accept an abusive partner than to change your life by leaving him. That is you, always finding the easy way out than to take the basic effort to protect yourself.

Getting a medical report is a proof that you were physically abused. That is in itself a valid reason to apply for a Personal Protection Order. Under this order, he cannot come close to you without your specific permission. Even with you permission, you have legal rights to ask him to go away. That means, if he abuse you again or at anytime make you unhappy, all you need is to call the police. They will charge him and very likely send him to the prison. Without the order, he actually need to start hitting you before you can make the police report to charge him with battery (assault also can but best only if you have witness). By then, a lot of things are too late. What's done cannot be undone.

Everybody thinks your situation is serious, except yourself. That is becos you already accepted the fact that you are supposed to be the victim. This rounds up the conclusion that you are the party willing to be beaten up, and he is the party (only waiting) to beat you up. The circle completes.

[ekemono]

By repeatedly forgiving him countless times, in other words, you are telling him it is okay to abuse you. Cos no matter, end of the day he knows he will get away with it.

Learn to love yourself. Why should you put up with such nonsense??
Btw, is your ex named Steven who studied law? I have a ex who was abused for 2 years, wanted out but the guy threaten to hurt her family.

[HCKing]

I understand that sentence very well. Always thought of giving up everytime I feel he disrespects me, but it is always easier said than done. And now, seeing that he is seriously to change for the better for me, I am in dilemma if I have to cling on that hope.

if i didnt rem wrongly there was a case which happened in sg some years back abt a woman kana beaten to death by her abusive drunkard bf. the article said something abt the woman keep putting up with her bf's punches becos she believes one day he will change and her love will change him.

so much for the hope.:rolleyes:

[pewpew]

Reporting police in Singapore is FREE and reporting him to police can either get a restraining order (keeps him away from you) or a ticket to Jail.

As for the medical checkup, please keep a record of the injuries so that if 1 day you really want to report police, you can show them the prove.

Also for his crying and kneeling, maybe he is too well trained actor?

Frankly speaking i would rather cry and kneel instead of getting beaten up (if i m a gal :p)

[Dahu]

You should asked yourself why is he doing all that and despite all that inadequacies why did you choose to go with him? If you want to be loved, you must be lovable.

[HCKing]

I understand that sentence very well. Always thought of giving up everytime I feel he disrespects me, but it is always easier said than done. And now, seeing that he is seriously to change for the better for me, I am in dilemma if I have to cling on that hope.


yes it is easier said than done, cos u 2 been 2gether for 4 yrs liao, and of cos there r also happy moments during these yrs, which make it hard 4 u to let go. seeing that he is seriously going to change for the better 4 U is a big ego booster to u and i believe u have already started painting beautiful pictures.

i wont say its not going to work out, just like those kana KCed by PRC WL its very hard to let go of that HOPE. instead, i suggest u start making new friends and widening your own social circle. like wat u said, your life is currently only centred around him and u have lost all yr friends and this is y its very hard 4 u to let go of this relationship. this guy is also like wat sammyboyfor said, a scumbag who aims to dominate and entrap yr life so much so that it will be very hard 4 u to get out of his clutches.

who knws, by making more new friends u might be able to really find the type of guy yr heart truly desires. and no more beatings too.:p

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I do not agree that we shud just hear 1 side of the story and say that guy's a dick & she's a victim.
I am always skeptical about everything and not believe in anyone or anything till i can prove it beyond a benefit of a doubt.

Let me give you an example...REAL LIFE ONE HOR!!!!!

Guy loves gal...
Gal Loves guy
Together 7yrs
Guy loyal to gal
Gal loyal to him(SO HE TOT)
All these while, when guy tries to sms or call her after sleeping time, no response...of cos he tinks she's asleep
But nooooooooooooo....she's F'ing around outside with other men

One day, he found out, cannot take it...she still try to lie to him.....he cant take it....he hit her
She cheated on him.....he loyal 101%
Emotional abuse already there......if so, call me a sicko, I TINK WHAT HE DID WAS FAIR!

There's this thing i hate....women want equality
They do as they please and so what happens if they cross the line.....EXCUSE ME HOR...ME CHAR BOR U KNOW........SO PLEASE LL AND F OFF!
Whereas if guys, prolly kenna K or some worst shit
Finally gal confess, turn over new leaf and they've been happily together since and even closer.......good ending i guess.

Now back to topic

Everything has a reason
Could be this gal is actually the cos of everything

To me, i'd also wanna hear from the dude before i pass judgment and advise.
It's all one sided for all you know, some additional spice was added in to make her look like an angel....now who wouldn't do that?

[DO_I_BJ]

That means nothing whatsoever. It's just an act. :rolleyes: You will regret your decision. Mark my words. :mad:

it reminds me of a scene in some movie. This i totally agree with sammy.

[EtherC]

Meimei if one day a robber enters your house, murders your parents then drop his parang and ask for your forgiveness will you not call the police? This guy obviously has anger management issues and should be seeing a shrink. In the worst situation, your man could become this robber. Admitting one's mistakes and seeking forgiveness is just a small part of repentance. If not we won't be needing prisons. People can change and do change, but it takes time and effort. Your man is hardly displaying any effort so its only going to get worse.

[jeronimo]

Yep, he will change over a new leaf.
Your love for him will eventually make him see that he was a scumbag and he will be totally different from the next day.
In fact, not only will he be nice to you and even to your future offspring and you guys will live forever in harmony and bliss that will leave all the people you know salivating.

Oh! Come on please wake up!
If he can be like this now, he will most probably just get worse.

You want to put yourself through such torment? So be it.
The man is wary to be in the wrong industry,
The woman worries to be with the worng person she marries

[rete700i]

Hey my dear fucking pathetic dickhead profane, how did you know that? :rolleyes: from your perspective? :eek:

狗改不了吃屎!!! :)

[SilverFox@]

The way to help him is to break up with him.

Because if you forgive him, he knows he can get away with it.
Take it that you are building good karma for him as if you don't forgive him, he will learn that by saying sorry is not everything.

Next time he gets a new gf, he will cherish her and not make the same mistakes again. If he does, 1) you are not the one getting beaten, 2) it just shows a leopard never change his spots.

If he change for the better, 1) good for him, he learnt a lesson 2) good for his gf because he will cherish her more.

If you persists with this kind of person, you are harming him more than helping him.

[DailyMaleSG]

Hi
1) Often the victim blames himself/herself for the abuse.
2) Without Question he needs help, if not for this relation atleast for HIMSELF.
3) The is a root cause something embedded deep inside him that is making him do this.

Regardless of your wanting to give him a second chance or him wanting to change, please seek mdecial help for him.

Cheers
Happy CNY and I hope you are happy with what ever course of action you chose.

Daily

[Oralcraz]

Is yr call. No matter what others may say, only u know what's best for yourself and what u want or need. Whatever yr decision, remember be happy and don't regret. Take care.

[conquer001]

Please, please, please, do yourself a favor and break-up. Such a man does not deserve your attention nor affection. After all, it takes two hands to clap and certainly, both parties must be of a rational and proper standing. To lower yourself to his level and simply forgiving his repeated violence is like having a spring sprung back into shape no matter how much you press on it.

You deserve a whole lot better. Believe in that and you'll start to see the world in a whole new perspective.

[mike1304k]

Dear TS,


This is just my personal point of view, but I lived in Japan for many years and have seen many many cases of sexual, verbal and physical abuse. It is a question of ego and a question of control.

Ego: Every man has his ego, but some have bigger egos. So they try to project themselves into even the very lives of the girls they claim to love.

Control: They want to control others, but they cannot control themselves.

Sister, a leopard can never change its spots. I have heard many guys tell their girlfriends and wives that they love them, but they just do not know how to love them. It may be good for a while, but then the troubles will come back again. When will it end? In an aborted baby? In your death or permanent disability? If he really wants to change, he will have to go for counselling and perhaps if it is a personality disorder, even psychiatric help. Confessing may help, just like feeling sorry, but the problem is much deeper.

As mentioned before... this is just my personal view...

Good luck and you have my best wishes.

[geckoSG]

TS,

You are one silly lady... Go back to him and accept his abuse bah...
You know better that he will not change at all... He will be worse
cos he knows you are under his control forever.

The last time I bashed such a scumbag was years ago when he broke
the ribs of my poor friend and caused her to be hospitalised for weeks.

Because of her silly thoughts that he will change, her poor kids had to
take the abuse for her when she was hospitalised. The young daughter
was also raped during the period that she was hospitalised cos he was
"drunk".

The daughter is now in very bad state of mental health just for your info...

Is this what you want? If so, please please GO BACK to HIM!!! :mad:

Can't believe there are such silly woman who will still exists when so much
of advise has been given to you. MIGHT give him a chance? Wah Kao!

[Oralcraz]

TS,


The last time I bashed such a scumbag was years ago when he broke
the ribs of my poor friend and caused her to be hospitalised for weeks.

Because of her silly thoughts that he will change, her poor kids had to
take the abuse for her when she was hospitalised. The young daughter
was also raped during the period that she was hospitalised cos he was
"drunk".

The daughter is now in very bad state of mental health just for your info...



Sad to know this. How many yrs and stroke the SCUMBAG kenna? Hope the daughter receive proper counselling. Hah.....:(

[lancer76]

Dear TS,

I totally agree with what sammy said. To me no matter what happens a guy should not lift his hands to hit a women. If it happen once n was forgiven it'll just keep happening becoz u already give him the green light to continue to hit you. And you took it for four long years? There are much better guys out there for you to spend your time with.. Once a wife beater, always a wife beater. i spit on this kinda animal. *Pui*

Dump him and continue with your abuse free life babe.

[aakumu]

Hi bro,
I have been reading this thread, and have a different take on it.
I have a friend the had an abusive wife, she beats him up and been a gentleman; he does not hit back.
It is not just a matter about walking away, people that are into abusive relationship maybe because they have a low self esteem, they do not feel[or made to feel] that they are a worthless.
In the case of my friend, he could only call it off from his wife is when found another personal that will accept him.
By the way, now he is happy married different girl, but not the only that help him to realize that he is worth more than what he gives himself credit for.
What do you think?
Thanks.

My humble two cents.

[Mrxhub]

That means nothing whatsoever. It's just an act. :rolleyes: You will regret your decision. Mark my words. :mad:

I support with BOSS words.....Your BF 狗改不了吃屎!!!

[Jarko]

have you see pigs fly before? if you believe den u are naive. leave him for a better life instead of letting him hurt you again n again

[Tai_zi21]

I just broke up with my bf. He is 27 and I'm 21. We've been together for more than four years.
He wants another chance from me.

Should I give him? Can he really change? number,

Hi just saw the thread on this TS

My views on ur problem here...

Do u really still love him? or does he really still love u? or maybe it just a habit to with each other since u 2 r together for so long....

And how many 4 years u can waste again? u r already 21 le... still intend to suffer for how long?

If u ask mi,i dun believe ur bf will change...

Cheers and gd luck to u :)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Chris Rock- Crazy Women
] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AS13dTbAdcI&feature=related)

Here's one on abusing women

[soul_vision]

Xiao Mei Mei,

Use demerit point system like Traffic Police :p

First offence: demerit 50% (whatsoever reason given) :D
Second offence: demerit 40% (Sianz half half liao)
Third offence: Revoke the license (wait for appeal and case by base basis)


Good and effecient system, even the government use them.

[HCKing]

Xiao Mei Mei,

Use demerit point system like Traffic Police :p

First offence: demerit 50% (whatsoever reason given) :D
Second offence: demerit 40% (Sianz half half liao)
Third offence: Revoke the license (wait for appeal and case by base basis)


Good and effecient system, even the government use them.

This is a gd one. No horse run!:D

[geckoSG]

Our sis has stopped posting, I guess she has her answers.
If she goes back to him still, I'll just say good luck...

[pewpew]

Just hope she finally ditch the guy and live happily everafter like fairy tales... :)

[pumpkin]

Thank you for all of your advice. Feel the care from you all eventhough you don't know me. :)

Anyway, yes we are still together now. Somehow, I know most of the advice written here is true, but I've decided to give us another chance, so I try not to post here anymore as I don't want to feel as if I took the wrong decision.

[yongzhen]

江山一改，本性难移!

Very difficult to change unless really met really big cause to change.

[cablesnwires]

Dear sis pumpkin,

So far I have refrained from posting in your thread, for the reason that you have already made your decision long before you started this thread.

The fact that you started this thread is not for seeking advice from the brothers and sisters here, but rather to re-affirm your earlier decision to give him another chance.

I would say that he has a powerful character, and that is what it is drawing you to him. The abuses and the beatings becomes secondary to you. And as long as he doesn't change, you will keep going back to him.

There are 2 possibilities (might be more) that you will leave him one day:

[1] The ill-treatment was becomes too unbearable
[2] That there is a change in his character

Both of the above requires a paradigm shift, and that the shift is out of your comfort zone.

I do wish that it does not require you to go through [1] for you to realise that it is not worth it. But then again, it is your choice, and I will respect you for that.

Good luck and may you find true happiness in your relationship with him. :)

[santomobile]

He wants another chance from me.

Should I give him? Can he really change?



If you still in doubts, whether want to accept or not, and maybe you still asking to yourself "can he really change?"

I will answer your question with a question.
No matter how you wash the charcoal, will the charcoal turn white ?

My advice:
Give a chance to somebody surround you that care and love you more, instead of wasting your time and your effort for a "useless man"

Why I said "useless"?, because most of the man who hit their wife or gf is useless. If their hand can use for other things, they will not use it to hit others.

To stop everything, first thing you need to do is file police report against him.
No matter what the reasons are, a human hit other human is against law and punishable.

[LED...]

Bros, i think she made up her mind.......no point saying anymore.....her heart still love him............so let it be............

She accept the gamble and place her bet...........win or loss.........up to their destiny and fate.........

Hope them all the best and wish that we wont hear from her again..........

But lady, respect yourself and your body.............:)