PDA

View Full Version : How to deal with a discovered affair?


SilverWormz
28-09-2008, 10:14 PM
Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

ch18
29-09-2008, 01:21 AM
U screwed up the marriage yourself..........Just be a man n face it lah.........
THERE IS ALWAY A RISK WHEN YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN!!!!

DO_YOU_BJ
29-09-2008, 01:26 AM
Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

Dun expect the PI to take voyeur pics of the gal giving you a BJ & you screwing her rite......
Those intimate pics in public are incriminating evidence liao.
If you love your wife, kneel & beg but be ready to live a life in prison and be a second class citizen in your own home.
Else onz her wif the divorce.

Either way, you are fucked bro.....good luck

colins
29-09-2008, 02:38 AM
This one must ask for bro slider's comment. Personally I think its kinda difficult since your wife already has a good headstart and planned the discovery. She must have good legal advice already. Defending against such is always between lose more or lose less.

porscheclub
29-09-2008, 05:46 PM
TS, find a lawyer & talk about this. Access your damage etc. feels like shit right? I ganna before too.

CO threatens means still can talk?

If not, bro BJ has said it.

If I'm not wrong, those photos are good grounds to file for a divorce. We don't need butt naked pics on bed to prove in court & since she's blown her top. That's it....

jojogigi
29-09-2008, 06:07 PM
prepare to spend money for the divorce and the aftermath. Or u can beg and live like dog. Got pros and cons la. U willing to part with your money or your pride. You choose.

slider_72
29-09-2008, 06:08 PM
Yep. Photos of you behaving intimately in public will probably be sufficient to file for divorce on the ground of adultery. Like bro DYBJ said, it would be near impossible to obtain evidence of you on the receiving end of a bbbj or doing a 69.

You can of course defend the divorce proceedings and challenge the evidence. Technically unless there is direct evidence of you actually shagging your girl, all other evidence are at best circumstantial evidence. Now we do not know how intimate you were when you were caught. All circumstantial evidence will have different value in proving whether you committed adultery.

For instance, if the photos show you hugging your girl and walking into Hotel 81, it would be difficult for the judge to believe that you were there to take an afternoon nap and nothing else.

However, if the photos merely show you and your girl having a burger and coke at MacDonalds, even if you were looking at each other lovingly in the eyes, there can still be reasonable doubt whether you had in fact committed adultery.

Anyway, even if she cannot prove that you committed adultery, the fact that you have another girlfriend, neglected your wife, call out your girlfriend's name in your sleep, etc can still be relied upon for a divorce on the ground of unreasonable behaviour.

The difference between proceeding on adultery as a ground for divorce and proceeding on the ground of unreasonable behaviour is that for adultery, your wife will have to join in your girlfriend in the divorce proceedings as a co-defendant. For most people, the embarassment would be the major trauma.

Either way, since you were caught, if your wife really wants to divorce you, there is precious little you can do legally to stop the divorce proceedings. I suppose the only way out is to go down on your kneels and beg.

RJ2004
29-09-2008, 06:37 PM
actually, behaving intimately in public can still argue...
if the PI is good there will be pics and time records of any hotel trysts and that is a killer.

jojogigi
29-09-2008, 07:03 PM
actually, behaving intimately in public can still argue...
if the PI is good there will be pics and time records of any hotel trysts and that is a killer.

ya but the courts always favour the ladies if the lady file for divorce based on marriage infidelity. Little things like intimacy or hold hands is enough to kill the man.

colins
29-09-2008, 07:29 PM
Either way, since you were caught, if your wife really wants to divorce you, there is precious little you can do legally to stop the divorce proceedings. I suppose the only way out is to go down on your kneels and beg.

Well said bro.;)

Vectra
29-09-2008, 10:38 PM
Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

The evidence is definitely not going to do you good. You know the odds, why bother to ask.:rolleyes:

isg3003
29-09-2008, 10:44 PM
Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

Well despite all the downside, u got one up side, u have your so -call gf in the event of a divorce. Perhaps now is the time to plan on how to limit financial damage.

peanut123
30-09-2008, 12:29 AM
Well despite all the downside, u got one up side, u have your so -call gf in the event of a divorce. Perhaps now is the time to plan on how to limit financial damage.

After his wife's laywers are through with him, he might not have enough money to support his gf :-(

As for TS, if you have any feelings at all left for your wife, I think a reconciliation is probably better for both of you and your kids. If she can forgive you, then she's got a big heart and probably still loves you.

Of course, if you don't love her at all, then the divorce is maybe the way to go. Matters of the heart is always complicated.

Wooden_Handle
30-09-2008, 12:56 AM
Hi Bro,

Really bad luck and seems you must have something going on for quite awhile that your CO want to get the evidence.

My advise is what your CO is demanding, since she didnt proceed to file the divorce with evidence directly.

Your CO has the upper hand with the evidence, with 'Women Charter' she can get away with whole lots of things from you. (When will Men Charter be a reailty?)

So you may have to bite the bullet, see what is her demand, and whether you can accommodate.


I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court.

Fun Guy
30-09-2008, 03:43 AM
Why are you so careless? You should have been more careful.

Nothing is going to change the fact that you are caught red handed. My advise to you is try asking for forgiveness and she maybe go soft again. If she ever forgive you, stay or lie low for a long while first. Stay calm and be cool for the time being.

sammyboyfor
30-09-2008, 04:42 AM
My advise to you is try asking for forgiveness and she maybe go soft again.

Should be "My ADVICE to you .....".

"Advise" is a verb.

tuxedosam
30-09-2008, 10:17 AM
hmph, think the previous replies have covered quite a bit of ground. am not actually sure where the TS is coming from exactly, since he did not indicate i) whether he is more inclined to reconcile with his wife, take to a new life with his lover or even to start afresh (as a blank sheet) with neither; ii) whether there are other existing conditions and complications constraining his choices, as well as his room for maneuvering (e.g. parents, kids etc.); and also, perhaps more importantly, whether his main concern is really the threat of social embarrassment, as well as the potential financial expense (particularly, of the long-term sort) involved. i think it's hard for anyone to give you specific advice if you're unsure where your heart lies in the first place (or at least you didn't give any indication to that end). and we don't even know if there are any mitigating factors in your favor either, since there are probably push and pull factors involved. once you've ascertained that basic fact though, you'd better rope in some help if you can't cope. if, for whatever reason, you're still willing to make your marriage work somehow, sometimes it's better to perhaps get a few close (and mutual) friends to reach out to her (i wouldn't recommend involving family - it could get even uglier). that is, on top of showing exactly how awfully contrite and remorseful you are, of course. there's also marriage counseling, if you and your spouse want an objective third party view... but don't do anything if you dun really feel like your heart and agenda is in it...ask yourself what is it you wanna do and WHY? hmph, can't really comment because nobody here knows your specific circumstances... then again, if she had gone through all that trouble already...tsk tsk...maybe it's in some sense already over and perhaps all you can still salvage is your pride, not the marriage...it's really hard to say... whatever it is, have a good lawyer on stand-by. he or she might come in a lot more handy than you think. no kidding. anyway, everyone has a different story to tell. the dynamics of any relationship are always unique so it's useless simply relying on the experience of others. be clear, not just in your head, but also in your heart. make a choice. stick with it. and don't look back after that, even if it doesn't work out quite as perfectly as you'd have wanted it. best of luck. cheers.

NewFreedom
30-09-2008, 10:26 AM
CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court.

tis is d biggest hint oredi.

she threatened but she has nt done so. frankly, she dun need 2 threaten, all she need 2 do is engage lawyer n all u receive is a thick stack of paper indicating plaintiff intention 2 divorce based on what reason blah blah blah.

juz a guess, she may be giving u a chance 2 own up, realize ur mistake n make a sincere change. tats provided u REALLY CHANGE.

jojogigi
30-09-2008, 11:32 AM
The evidence is definitely not going to do you good. You know the odds, why bother to ask.:rolleyes:

Asian Handicap. Got House edge.. Take Arsenal Eat Ball also die.

peanut123
01-10-2008, 04:31 PM
After his wife's laywers are through with him, he might not have enough money to support his gf :-(

As for TS, if you have any feelings at all left for your wife, I think a reconciliation is probably better for both of you and your kids. If she can forgive you, then she's got a big heart and probably still loves you.

Of course, if you don't love her at all, then the divorce is maybe the way to go. Matters of the heart is always complicated.

Wah, I don't understand why someone zapped me over this message. My post very bad meh ? Grammatically correct, content mild and neutral, no swearing or bad words. Still kenna zap. Sigh, too many trigger happy pple in the forum.

jojogigi
01-10-2008, 06:41 PM
Wah, I don't understand why someone zapped me over this message. My post very bad meh ? Grammatically correct, content mild and neutral, no swearing or bad words. Still kenna zap. Sigh, too many trigger happy pple in the forum.

thats why i curse their family go to hell. extreme.. but i dun give a damn. LOL

jasdude
07-10-2008, 01:55 AM
things to think of first .

1st ) woman's charter in singapore - woman no matter what wins . furthermore she have proof of your adultery .

2nd) divorce - u lose half of asset , pay alimony for kids and her if she not working.

3rd) do you think your oc can forgive you? if can will she forget !! even if she forgive you she will torment you for the rest of your together lives as small quarrels will result in her bringing the same issue up again and again and again .

4th) Is she the one for you . although u have done wrong , is she the one that you want to see when you get home after a days work , someone that knows you in and out and will be sure she will stand by you on your issues.



logical work around

transfer all assets to other kins - your own bank acc , car ownership , country club membership etc

talk to her nicely but firmly admitting your mistakes . see what is her stand point and assess the situation . " WILL SHE FORGIVE AND FORGET " & "is she the one"

no matter what , let her make the next move in legal issue so you know what she wants . in the mean time , show your sincereity in wanting her back be relentless and shameless . there will be a slight chance depending on her character and how much she loves you .

The rest lies in her hands , as the ball is in her court .


one personal advise - try and try and try . she is still your wife until the divorce papers are signed.

~iOOi~
10-10-2008, 12:24 AM
things to think of first .

1st ) woman's charter in singapore - woman no matter what wins . furthermore she have proof of your adultery.

This Woman's Charter is a killer. Wonder who's the ass that approved it...

callous
16-10-2008, 06:08 PM
This is why the Women's Charter was introduced - to protect us from dickheads like you! If you wanna play with fire, be prepared to get burnt. Nothing you can do now, just be a man and own up to your actions! :D

RTTO
19-10-2008, 09:32 AM
Bro, I'd suggest you think about your marriage and family commitment carefully.... do you still love your wife? Do you still wanna be with her? Not sure if you have kids anot, but most of the time kids suffer when their parents file for divorce... If your answer to the 2 questions is "YES", then I suggest you kneel and beg for forgiveness.

I kenna caught once myself, no pic but only sms messages.... luckily my wife forgive me. Still love my wife and kids... only reason for my adultery is to satisfy my sexual desire. End of every session, first thing that comes to my mind is "go home".

But if your answer is "NO".... then jolly well take this oppty and divorce her. Yah, you may feel the pain to part your $$ but i think it's better than your emotional agony.... the tot of living with someone you dun love and dun wanna be with.... you'll soon commit adultery again. :confused:

ShittyAss
19-10-2008, 11:19 AM
So many bros out there have provided u enuf advice liao....so i shant speak much about whether the photos can be use or cannt be use as evidence against u...

Just some general pointers for u to consider...

Photos>> There maybe more that the PI snap which was not shown to u.

Marriage>> Do u think she can forgive and forget?

PI>> Engaging a PI shows a well plan event.

Divorce>> Sadly, its well plan and do u think she wan u to kneel down and stuff? And...she still can dig out this issue years later.

Monthly>> Are u well to do? Dun have to tell us...the Monthly stuff that she may want from u or ur assets will be enuf to kill u

Family>> She should talk to u lst before and when u deny then she shld flag out those photos if she ever consider the family (kids or no kids). And kids suffered the most in a divorce case.

To all married personnel...this is a hard fact of getting married and wana play at the same time. Cursing that u are careless which u shldnt. Wana play, must be prepared for the fatal.

First move......beg lst and see whats her reaction...

Reaction not good...IMMEDIATELY TRANSFER all ur liquid funds under joint name and single name out and put with ur parents and all withdrawal in CASH and not bank TT. Cos ur parents will be the only trust worthy one

Then ask her directly what she wants....u are most likely well to do if her reaction is not good..and must be prepared to loss half of all ur assets, ie house and car.

Cos engaging a PI shows she is out to kill.

Last resort...do the same back to her if u know wat i meant...$ can get things done. Love is already loss so dun need to hold back from ur side.

Thats how cruel marriage is which i choose to be single. Its worst then a time bomb. Even if u didnt play outside, they can anyhow file for divorce with a stupid excuse.

Good luck.

ShittyAss
19-10-2008, 11:22 AM
talk to her nicely but firmly admitting your mistakes . see what is her stand point and assess the situation . " WILL SHE FORGIVE AND FORGET " & "is she the one"

no matter what , let her make the next move in legal issue so you know what she wants . in the mean time , show your sincereity in wanting her back be relentless and shameless . there will be a slight chance depending on her character and how much she loves you .

The rest lies in her hands , as the ball is in her court .


one personal advise - try and try and try . she is still your wife until the divorce papers are signed.

Hey bro..i realised my advice is similar to urs....just tat i beg to defer on ur forgive and forget which i belive she wun cos she had it well planned.

JacDao
25-10-2008, 12:15 PM
Worst come to worst BRO. Worst case scenario !

Best legal advice to beat the womens' charter !

Calculate ALL your total assets !

Get your relatives and you sign IOUs to them amounting to amounts more than your total assets ( get a third party witness also to sign on the IOUs )! Must backdate to way before your marriage to her ! You are instantly in debt !


At least you save on something. If you cannot save your marriage , save your money !:cool:

Tom Telex
26-10-2008, 07:02 PM
Dear Brothers,

Been following this thread and decided to put in my 5 cents.

All the advice has been well meaning but the stark reality is that even if your wife committed the adultery, she may still be entitled to maintenance and a share of the marital property.

As for the idea to transfer them out or put yourself instantly in debt, please be careful. If she had the grey matter (whether on her own or on another's advice) to get a PI, she will have done other homework as well. If you try it and the truth comes out, you will be in deeper shit and may get those you got to help you in trouble as well. Believe you me that when pushed to the wall and if it means it will save their own skin your "friends" may be the ones that blab on you.

Try to save your marriage if thats what you really want. If not, see a lawyer and get your affairs in order. At least you can limit your damage.

Sorry if I sound negative but me marriage is also going. In my case, it the wife thats behaving unreasonably but then as I said she still is entitled to somethings. THE LAW IS AN ASS!!!!

cereal-killer
31-10-2008, 12:10 AM
i agree with Tom Telex

My ex-wife behaved unreasonabley, even got PI with pictures, entering and leaving her mother's home and never come home or worked late till 5am every other day.

With the above (and pictures), ven my lawyer says i have 5% chanc eof winning... knn f**king lawyer sucked $10K out of me, if I knew I had 5% chance, I would have thrown the towel.

With the above reasons, I eventually had to pay maintenance for child.... knn, she fook'ed around for months, slept with other men, left home for 1.5 years and even left the child for me to take care. eventually she takes custody...

Property 50/50 ... no problem, I bought over her share of the house, took over the house and within 1 year, property value 100K above my buying price. Till today, she's jumping from one bed to another, even my daughter woke up and saw her partner in same bed as them...knn, what kind of woman is this... on top of this, after 5 years of seperation/divorce she wants me back.. SIAO! GILA! i rather sleep with a dog cos' at least the dog will recognise me when she see's me home.

On top of this, i had to pay $40K CASH... and for what fcuk?!!? the law here have NO EYES and DOES NOT side men.

Times have changed....

fulham
31-10-2008, 12:28 AM
Hi Bro,

Do you think men like old women??? The reality is cruel...when a woman grows old, her value automatically depreciate! Of course she hopes to go back to you...What she wants now is security and family for old age.

i agree with Tom Telex
Property 50/50 ... no problem, I bought over her share of the house, took over the house and within 1 year, property value 100K above my buying price. Till today, she's jumping from one bed to another, even my daughter woke up and saw her partner in same bed as them...knn, what kind of woman is this... on top of this, after 5 years of seperation/divorce she wants me back.. SIAO! GILA! i rather sleep with a dog cos' at least the dog will recognise me when she see's me home.

Times have changed....

EtherC
31-10-2008, 12:48 PM
Back in those days when the legislation was passed, women were poorly educated and their survival depended heavily on their spouses. So back then it was not only relevant but crucial. Its different today with so many women out in the workforce, that's why this legal dinosaur should be shot down but honestly as a politician you'll lose a majority of votes should you attempt to amend the Women's Charter. Hence it'll just drag on until men realise how partial the law is to the modern woman and stay away from marriage. It is only when the marriage rates start to drop so sharply that discussion on Women's Charter amendments will start coming.

HCKing
31-10-2008, 09:21 PM
sg gals hard to please lah, give them chocolate they want ice-cream. younger ones worse still, want their ah boy to carry their LV bags while they bua long long shop.:rolleyes:

meanttobe
09-11-2008, 12:13 AM
Own up.

If you regret being unfaithful, beg for forgiveness and don't betray your wife again. Go for marriage counseling and see how things can be worked out.

If you no longer love your wife, then be responsible and face the music. Set your wife free and pay accordingly.

There's no turning back since you've started the affair and you should see this coming sooner or later.

kiko
09-11-2008, 09:11 AM
Bro: the only thing u can do now, is break off from your so called co-worker, ask yourself which gal u really love .. i think the answer should be your wife. You should ask your wife to forgive you. Spend some money buy a bunch of flower and gave it to your wife. Book an expensive restaurant , and have a romantic candle-light dinner with your wife , then hope that she forgive you!

virginboy
11-11-2008, 12:39 AM
Bro, you should seriously ask youself if you still want to save the marriage. If you still love your wife, go ask for forgiveness, give her a valid reason why you need to fug another woman. Else, if you want to take the opportunity to become bachelor again, then face the music.

The Monkees
12-11-2008, 06:30 AM
agreed with bro virginboy.
just tell her the truth and ask for another chance,that is if you still love your wife and children (if any). just a newbie 2 cents opinion.

ING ING
14-12-2008, 03:21 PM
Try to see if there is a chance to reunite as many says. She might give in for the sake of marriage and kids if have...:rolleyes:

PepeReina
14-12-2008, 04:56 PM
My friend is the other party that used PI to trace his wife. But from what I knew, whether it is adultery or not (based on their action in public) is up to the judge to decide. Unless the phote is being captured going to hotel.:rolleyes:

But one thing for sure is trust is gone...

PepeReina
14-12-2008, 05:01 PM
Back in those days when the legislation was passed, women were poorly educated and their survival depended heavily on their spouses. So back then it was not only relevant but crucial. Its different today with so many women out in the workforce, that's why this legal dinosaur should be shot down but honestly as a politician you'll lose a majority of votes should you attempt to amend the Women's Charter. .

Agreed with you bro. This Women's Charter can really dragged we guys to disadvantage for LIFE!

Hence it'll just drag on until men realise how partial the law is to the modern woman and stay away from marriage. It is only when the marriage rates start to drop so sharply that discussion on Women's Charter amendments will start coming.

Who would want to marry with this law in place!:mad:

wei_xiao_bao
14-12-2008, 11:36 PM
things to think of first .

1st ) woman's charter in singapore - woman no matter what wins . furthermore she have proof of your adultery .

2nd) divorce - u lose half of asset , pay alimony for kids and her if she not working.

3rd) do you think your oc can forgive you? if can will she forget !! even if she forgive you she will torment you for the rest of your together lives as small quarrels will result in her bringing the same issue up again and again and again .

4th) Is she the one for you . although u have done wrong , is she the one that you want to see when you get home after a days work , someone that knows you in and out and will be sure she will stand by you on your issues.



logical work around

transfer all assets to other kins - your own bank acc , car ownership , country club membership etc

talk to her nicely but firmly admitting your mistakes . see what is her stand point and assess the situation . " WILL SHE FORGIVE AND FORGET " & "is she the one"

no matter what , let her make the next move in legal issue so you know what she wants . in the mean time , show your sincereity in wanting her back be relentless and shameless . there will be a slight chance depending on her character and how much she loves you .

The rest lies in her hands , as the ball is in her court .


one personal advise - try and try and try . she is still your wife until the divorce papers are signed.


Actually, transferring of assets at this point in time is too late. The Judge can date things. Woman's charter is not as strong as its used to b if u had read the news. There were a few major cases that the judge threw the claims out and 2 cases(if I not wrong) that the wife got to pay the husband alimony.

So its best u think if u want to get back with yr wife or not. If not, u better start finding things that r to yr advantage, like if she is also playing outside, neglect house and kids or being unreasonable etc. Though it will not help alot, at least it can lessen wat u going to pay.

lglg666
15-12-2008, 11:41 AM
SAD lor....not a situation to be in esp now with everything so bad. Have a good talk and ask for a second chance or be ready to move on with your life without your CO.

LostALau
15-12-2008, 12:28 PM
It must have been like a bolt in the blue to u when yr wife confronted u while yr head was in cloud nine.

Before you ask the good bros here for advice, first ask yourself this question: "Do I still love my wife and is willing to repent to save the marriage?" If your answer is "No", then that is the end of your marriage.

If your answer is "Yes', then, like some earlier advice given to u, "go down on your knees and beg for forgiveness and promise to be a good boy henceforth".

If your wife had enough of u (as a sicko) and is not ready to forgive, start a new life with your 'second', provided she is serious with you.

If your wife still loves u or wants to save the marriage for whatever reason and willingly or reluctantly agrees to forgive u (don't expect her to forget hor), you must really repent, cut off all relationship with your 'second' and be a good boy. This is the price you have to pay for the amnesty.

One time caught, the love of fire in yr wife's heart abates, second time caught, the fire will most probably extinguish. Wish u the best.

DO_YOU_BJ
15-12-2008, 05:01 PM
Bro: the only thing u can do now, is break off from your so called co-worker, ask yourself which gal u really love .. i think the answer should be your wife. You should ask your wife to forgive you. Spend some money buy a bunch of flower and gave it to your wife. Book an expensive restaurant , and have a romantic candle-light dinner with your wife , then hope that she forgive you!

You watch too much love movies liao.....
It doesnt work like that in real life lah...........

ekemono
15-12-2008, 07:31 PM
maybe this song lies the solution :D

YouTube - Shaggy - It Wasn't Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR4PGt9oOto)

ktmakmak
15-12-2008, 10:10 PM
You watch too much love movies liao.....
It doesnt work like that in real life lah...........

So brother DO_YOU_BJ can you please advise us what its like in real life?;):rolleyes::cool:

Prins
18-12-2008, 02:28 PM
maybe this song lies the solution :D

YouTube - Shaggy - It Wasn't Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR4PGt9oOto)

Hi Brother ekemono,
That's a good one :D Thanks

DO_YOU_BJ
18-12-2008, 08:05 PM
So brother DO_YOU_BJ can you please advise us what its like in real life?;):rolleyes::cool:

Not as simple as he put it!
ktmakmak = Kiko

dolp
18-12-2008, 10:18 PM
Bro: the only thing u can do now, is break off from your so called co-worker, ask yourself which gal u really love .. i think the answer should be your wife. You should ask your wife to forgive you. Spend some money buy a bunch of flower and gave it to your wife. Book an expensive restaurant , and have a romantic candle-light dinner with your wife , then hope that she forgive you!

This sounds like model answer from a ten years series :p Things are usually not that easy :)

daozi
19-12-2008, 12:56 PM
Its written in the Bible that "A cord of three strands is not easily broken". If a lie will save your marriage then you really dont have a choice.

Much marriage difficulty and unhappiness are due to the failure of the parties to accept the fact of their finiteness. Instead they hold themselves up to ideals in performance possible only to God.

Billy Graham once said that a key to a good marriage is two good forgivers.

Get someone whom she trust to talk to her. With sufficient persuasion and your promise to change, I think you can maintain your marriage.

silverblue
19-12-2008, 02:10 PM
Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.
can i know WHY are you "behaving intimately in public" while having an AFFAIR?

wukong68
19-12-2008, 02:25 PM
can i know WHY are you "behaving intimately in public" while having an AFFAIR?

Yes agree with Silverblue bro, how come you know its an affair and still behaving intimately in public? Die road 1 way leh.. :(

geckoSG
19-12-2008, 02:57 PM
i agree with Tom Telex

Till today, she's jumping from one bed to another, even my daughter woke up and saw her partner in same bed as them...knn, what kind of woman is this...

Bro, you better think for your daughter, who knows one day one of the guy
big and small also wanna makan and rape ur daughter... Based on your
daughter testimonial, you should be able to get her custody back if you want.

Of cos, give her a good camera phone and take photo as evidence of diff
guy sleeping on the same bed that she shares with her mother...

Stud00
19-12-2008, 05:38 PM
Bro T.S,
Firstly what kinda advice are you seeking? Are you asking us if there's any way to "cover your backside" and "tracks"? OR are you asking us how to salvage the marriage?

No offense, but i feel that, if you do love your wife, and you wanna salvage the marriage, then DO the right thing. Confess, Apologise, and work to win back her trust! That's what you should do. However, if you are working to divorce her because she found out about your little affair, then i have nothing to say to you but "good luck"..
Don flame me.. i personally think that you should face up to your own mistakes. Whatever it is, i hope that you would be wise enough to handle it, and TO ALL BROS, if you wanna play outside, be prepared for the consequences.. be it, disease or being discovered. Simple as that..

Cheers

cunt_search
28-12-2008, 11:40 PM
Why are you so careless? You should have been more careful.

Nothing is going to change the fact that you are caught red handed. My advise to you is try asking for forgiveness and she maybe go soft again. If she ever forgive you, stay or lie low for a long while first. Stay calm and be cool for the time being.

like the army said, do anything, dun get caught
depending on the seriouseness, kenna extra, detenion or court marshalled...
wan to eat forbidden fruits have to face the potential consequence
never do risk assessment a sadvised by MOM?:p